Thursday, July 1, 2010

Overexposed

Today...

Introducing Naked Lady

Going to the gym before work and then showering and getting ready for work in the locker room can be a challenge.

Lugging around all the crap that is just unfortunate necessity for any professional women:
makeup
haircare products
blow dryer
flat iron
neatly pressed work attire
And complete all the required hygiene and beautification steps in a shared space.

In general I don't have a problem if you want to be naked in the locker room.
If you don't care I don't care.

Personally, I prefer a light short robe that I picked up at Marshall's. It's small and thin enough to fit in my gym bag. It hangs easily on the hook outside of the shower stale and keeps me covered up until I'm ready to switch over to my work clothes.

Naked lady does not use a robe.
or a towel.
or shower shoes.

In fact most of the time she doesn't even shower. She uses the crappy brown paper towels and does some kind of 'sponge bath' in the sink. If she does shower. She prefers to drip dry.

Really?
I mentioned that this was a shared space. We're talking about the locker room at the gym. Not a hotel room or some kind of private spa.

I don't really understand her cleansing methods, but again, not really my problem.

Where the problems comes into the scenario is when your nakedness starts to have a direct impact on me.

First incident
Me: leaning over my gym bag which is on the bench between the lockers.
Naked Lady: walks over to her locker and bends forward. directly in front of my face.

Yes. that's right. Naked Lady's butt (more specifically the crack of her ass) in my face.
Traumatized. It's taken me months to even talk about it.

Second incident
Me: Walking to the shower wearing my cute little robe, carrying my towel, shampoo, etc.
Naked Lady: Burst out from behind a shower curtain and walks right into me.

Third incdient
Me: Applying makeup and fixing my hair. Again, wearing robe.
Naked Lady: Crowds my space, although the whole mirrored area is open and starts a conversation about her cellulite. Making sure to point out all her worst areas, contorting and bending her legs as needed to make sure I get the best view.

I now avoid Naked Lady whenever possible. I literally dread seeing her in the gym. I try to time her workouts so I can either be done before she makes it to the locker room or spend another 20 mins on the treadmill hoping she'll be on her way out, even it means being late for work.

I just can't say enough about how uncomfortable I am with Naked Lady.
There's just somethings worth avoiding.

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