Intimacy after a baby

Just a few thoughts.  Nothing too detailed.  Just thought it was best to be straightforward about the content of this post.  My dad does read my blog after all..... 

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• Whoever said a woman is ready for sex 6 weeks after delivery was obviously a man.  Every woman I've talked to about this is not ready mentally, physically, or emotionally for this type of intimacy.  Husbands circle the day on their mental calendar and patiently wait like something magically is going to happen on that day. I think it was the only time Jim knew exactly how old Riesling was. 

• There always seems to be a million other things that need done and it's usually pretty basic things like eating or bathing.  I like how my OB phrased it, "Do you want to be put on birth control pills or just use the exhaustion method?"

• There are, of course, some nights where you are super accomplished and have all the dishes down, laundry put away, and dog walked all before 10pm and still have a little spark of energy left.  That is of course before you step in a huge, disgusting pile of dog barf that requires 25 minutes to clean up. Spark smoldered.

• I know it's hard to resist and seems unfair, but the big breastfeeding boobs are off limits.  It is distracting.  I'm either reminded of the baby or worried that milk is going to squirt you in the eye. 

• Somehow babies just seem to wake up out of the deepest sleep at the exact moment one or both of you are about to take off your pants.  It's as if they have a little radar....WARNING. WARNING.  Potential sibling alert!! 

In all seriousness, finding the time & energy to be just husband and wife can be hard.  Not to mention that the intense love you feel for a newborn can really consume you emotionally.  There are lots of articles in magazines and across the web about how to keep the fire burning so to speak.  For us, keeping the communication open really helps. Reminding one another of how much you love them, telling them how great of a job they are doing as a parent, and even calmly expressing frustration about the difficulty of the new circumstances.  Jim and I are also big fans of the 5 minute massage exchange and general snuggling time, even if that involves Riesling cuddled up between us.  I know it will get easier as she gets older (right?!) but some nights you have to wonder....