I happen to catch the end of the Colbert report the other day. Martha Stewart was his guest and he teaches her how to prepare some of special snacks from his childhood...including mixing mayo with mustard and spreading it on saltines.
The Stidd family saltine spread of choice was margarine. The 'good' kind in the tubs (preferably Country Crock). Nothing else. Just a thick spread of clogged artery.
I made Jim try it once.
We were at a diner and they served saltines with my soup, but I didn't eat them. As we lingered at the end of our meal, I shared with Jim this little delight from my childhood. He thought my story was ridiculous, even though I insisted that it was not so bad. This of course led to me asking the waitress for butter even though we had completed our meal at this point. Jim was practically crawling under the table. He really does find me quite embarassing.